6.06.2009

The Ignored Wife


“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Proverbs 13:12

I received a message today from a wife whose husband ignores her; in some ways subtly and in other ways, not so subtle. She felt bad for even bringing it up because she thought that her marriage problem was the least of those we hear about on a regular basis. Nothing could be further from the truth~ we hear this a lot!

Understand this ~ a wife who is ignored by her husband (sexually, emotionally, verbally, etc.) is bled drop by drop over time; it’s a slow death that sneaks up on her until there comes a point where she can’t take it any longer and her heart becomes sick; her will, feelings and intellect get sick. Since most men can’t handle seeing their wives like this and are clueless about the role they’ve played in them getting this way; they become angry and push them further away, increasing her feeling of being ignored.

This, my friends, is how a husband becomes responsible for pushing his wife into an emotional affair and/or physical affair. Now, before you get up in arms and send us a judgmental email or leave a similar comment on this post, We’d like to ask that you put yourself in a mental attitude of consideration. If you’ve seen the movie, FIREPROOF, you’ll have a better understanding because the very thing I’m speaking of happened in that movie. You might say, “yes, but he wasn’t a Christian husband (which he did later become) and a Christian husband wouldn’t do that, nor would a Christian wife behave in that manner.” Let us tell you that Christianity has nothing to do with it ~ a neglected, emotionally abused wife is ripe for the plucking to any “rescuer” who comes her way. Why? Because he listens, sympathizes, validates her, compliments her, maybe starts taking her to lunch or giving her small gifts….all the things she needs from her husband that he should have been doing for her but wasn’t.

“Your desire shall be for your husband.” Genesis 3:16

“When the desire comes it is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

“God has given a wife a desire for a loving relationship with her husband. It’s a longing, a reaching out after, a powerful emotion that moves a woman to pursue a genuine, heart-to-heart relationship with her man.” (Joel & Kathy Davisson)


When a woman says ‘Yes!’ to a marriage proposal, she’s agreeing to join her life to the man who has been positively pursuing her, talking with her, spending time with her, complimenting her, smiling at her every time he sees her, supporting her dreams, sharing her hopes. She never would have agreed if she’d known that her future husband would eventually stop romancing her, start spending more and more time away from her and the children, become a workaholic, not help her raise the children, start looking at porn, self gratifying, start taking second looks at other women, criticize and blame her for their problems ~ problems that he initiated.

Husbands, if you’re marriage isn’t going the way you’d like it to, begin looking at what you’re initiating into the relationship. God has created a woman to be a responder and, as such, your wife will mirror back what you’re bringing to the table.

Wives, you and I both know that we can’t force our husbands to change but there are some things that can help such as telling him what you need from him, giving him ideas of things you’d like him to do in the relationship that he’s overlooking, acknowledging the good that he does (men love to be praised), and speaking to him clearly, directly and calmly.

I hope that we’ve shed some light on this subject and that some scales have fallen off reading eyes. Michael and I offer our continued support as we are both on this road with you and we can honestly tell you that we will never go back to the way it was. Why would we?

42 comments:

  1. You forgot to mention that beside an affair, the wife may also become so unhappy that she may even wish for death. Rejection of that magnitude can get so devastating for the wife that those who cannot bring themselves to an affair or divorse will see no other way out of her misery besides the sweet relief of death. The feeling may come rapidly or it can creep up on you until one night you find yourself on your knees, in a dark corner, with a face full of salty tears, screaming to G-d from the very pit of your soul to have mercy on you and to kill you. Then once you're dead, the fear of simply remembering that rejection is enough to wish your entire existence be deleted. There would be no memories left and no sorrow to look back upon.

    So, for those who may say "a Christian wife would never cheat," well, there you go. No cheating, no divorse, just bearing the pain.

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    1. Living this nightmare now and can't even begin to tell you how much I totally and completely agree with you....

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    2. I couldn't agree more...

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    3. Very true! I have begged many times for that sweet release.

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    4. Your description reaches out to me. It is me! Was it you too? I feel you couldn't understand so fully unless this had been you? And how has your life changed since this post?

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  2. I have a marriage that is unbearable. Married for 39year. I can honestly say that out of those 39yrs we have had 5yrs that were happy. He has been a workaholic, substance abusive, selfish person most of our married life. I stayed with him due mostly to our children. In 2001 he had back surgery and became physically unable to perform sexually....or so he tells me. But he also shows no effection by kissing or hugging unless I ask for some kind of demonstration. He is the most self absorbed person and at 62yrs of age I see no evidence of change, although when I bring up the subject of his actions he does say he needs to change...but I don't see any change EVER. So, how do you address the issue of being in your late 50's and being tired and ready to give up the married, or settling on living like this the rest of your life because how many more years do I have anyway? Believe me I know the answer is NOT finding another man. Rejection creates many feelings and none of them are good. Anonymous~

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    1. I am also in the same situation. I am 40 yrs. My husband of 16 yrs is very cold and unaffectionate. I tried my best. I am staying with him for the sake of kids. he is not letting me to divorce him . emotionally abusing me

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  3. Ok twenty years have gone by, I was 105lbs 1st baby girl 110lbs my good husband admits to sex addiction, we had so much heat ,friendship , love , sex, fun hobbies. Two more babies 130lbs still greAt with some different addictions, worked throu. Three year or two years iv been diagnosed with dibiliting painful decease . At 140lbs I'm comfortable with my body thou . I want dome attention so I stand necked infront of myhubby he says out of the. Blue ( can a man help it if he is only attracted to certain body types !). Of course he loves me the words come easy. He admitted he is a sexual addict which shocks me! Because he's not touching me at all . Now three years later iv been getting house bound, sometimes bed bound. I'm still gaining weight. I'm not jealous that he's giving love attention to our children but why not me too? I make dur to care for myself look pretty for him, be positive and love him like I want from him. Months go by he doest have the time, so many excuses. ...... I am so lonely dyeing a bit each week we are Christians he would never divorce he doesn't believe in it. I m pretty sure he is self gratifying where as I can not do. I am hurt! . I'm dying but I am still alive !!!!!

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    1. When I read this I feel like I am reading about myself. I feel horrible and sick about it. I'm at a dead end and don't know where to go from here.

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  4. I was married 21 years. Early in the marriage the first couple of years it was not a problem but he started having some gambling problems and also drinking. Once my son was born he wanted nothing to do with me nor my son. I though I tried everything and I was understanding and supportive of everything he did. He became verbally abusive as well calling me terrible names fo rthinking there should be intimacy in our relationship. As a christian, the thought of an affair would never be an option and I as well did not believe in divorce. One day while on the road working, I fell apart and called the minister of my church. I began counseling with a doctor and then also with the minister in hopes that my spouse would attend (he refused to attend couseling with the doctor). It wasnt until I started couseling that I realized the severity of our problems. I had completely lost myself. I decided I had to push the couseling as it was our only hope and he refused and demanded an end to everything. Words cannot even explain how painful that was but now 4 years later I can look back and say it does not easier everyday. Healing is a process and I have no anger toward him now.

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  5. I am in such a position that even if I wish to suicide, I cannot, as I have a son who loves me so dearly... My husband is a gentleman by nature to others even to my parents, but as a husband he is a big failure. I expect some intimacy and care from him, but he is either busy with his laptop, mobile, friends etc. He concentrates more on food and sleep rather than a family life. Whenever there is a holiday the next day, he sleeps earlier making my life miserable... I am just writing this down so that it eases my mind a bit.... He is loyal to me, he won't go for another woman in his life, but that does not help at all. If you are not able to lead a happy life, then what is the point in living together.

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    1. I am sorry to hear that :-( my husband is kind of the same but he tries to be loving and sweet. I could sugest that if your husband really wants to love you he should be willing to learn about you. http://www.enmore.org/relationships.htm

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  6. I am sad. I was so upset the las two days because I was jelous of someone with whom my husband went to do the taxis. She is learning so, it is a good help to her to do the taxis of my husband. My husband has a bussines and she just graduated from accounting. He said she needs him because she doesn't know what to do with the numbers. So he went, it took 2 days and they haven't finish yet.

    I told my husband that I didn't trust him, neither her or me. :-( I said to him that I wanted to be there but now I am in finals from school and I can't go. :-( He said to me that in the way it does't hurt him to hear the things I say is to ignore it.

    It's been now 2 weeks that we moved in with his parents. His mommy cooks for him. she serves his plate and now what am I. :-(

    Today he left to work and complitelly ignorme!! :-( he ate as soon as his mom served his plate.


    :-( I think I am going to sleep in the car tonight and leave him a not in the bed. that says "ignore me now, anyway it is easy for you to do it during the day, why not at night to?" He soesn't like to have much sex neither so,... :-(

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  7. Please, the rejection of these men has nothing to do with who you are or what your look like. These men have physical ailments that for some reason prevent them from having desire. They don't want any woman. They are not gay. They just don't have any desire and because of that they are despondent and wont say the truth because our society has put too much pressure on them.

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  8. This hit home. My husband sleeps until friends call and hes off and running. He tells me to shut up and listen, gets irritated easily and thinks he is a joy to be around. 15 years and i just want god to take me home. My life is him and my son and i am getting no love and no affection. Just a husband who would rather sleep on the chair than be with me.

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  9. Think about what you said. Suicide, one of the greatest sins. You can not let any human take your power without being a willing partner. Again expect nothing, give yourself and your children a wonderful life. He will either come around or you will be living a happy life without him. His unfortunate loss.
    Pray..Miracles happen every moment.

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  10. I have been married for 21 years. We have two beautiful sons aged 16 and18. My husband is a good father, a very hard worker and provider. We both work full time jobs and do our best to provide a better life for our boys. I am 'old school' about propriety, respect and family loyalty, and do my best to instilled this in my family. 13 years ago, I fell into an affair. Something I NEVER thought I would be capable of. That's NOT WHO I AM. Till this day I cannot fully come to terms with my actions. I loved my husband but was not getting from him as a husband what a wife needs. I'm mot talking about money, jewellery or any other material possessions. I need affection, quality time together, security, loyalty, security, to feel like a woman, feel sexy, feel worthy and just be held when in pain and troubled. My husband is not a bad person, but unfortunately lacks the ability to be these things to me and for me. He is quick to defend strangers who try to grieve me instead of supporting me, he never compliments or even looks at me. We pretty much have a non existent love life. The other night, we were at a family wedding. He barely spoke to me and the only attention he paid me was to throw food at me. I was and still am crushed, further cementing my feelings of disrespect and unworthiness. A year ago, I faced losing my job because the position was made redundant. I was beside myself, worried that I would not find employment and the devastation it would mean financially. I broke down often. I got no consolation, advice or an empathetic ear. Rather I was promptly told to go and see a psychiatrist. Very cold, I felt sick. I have told him what I need but he throws it back at me making it my fault. We have withdrawn from each other, and had it not been for our financial commitments, we would very likely be divorced. When at social functions, he pays very little to no attention to me. I have purposely gone and sat in the car to see if he would notice I was missing. I have sat there for hours and wondered back in myself. He clearly does not love me or respect me. I'm stuck in this rut. I wish things were different. I need love, respect security, attention and loyalty. I wish...

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  11. I quite agree that either the neglected/abused wife walk away or wish herself dead. I was like that 8 years ago and had breast cancer. The depths of depression I was in was unbelievable. I was happy, productive before we were married. But something was telling me on our wedding day to run as fast as I can but because I have no one to turn to and I have given my word and wouldn't wish to hurt anyone, I went ahead with the wedding. On the same day, the mother -in-law, told me that her son, my husband promised her there won't be any other woman for him and won't marry. I told my new husband then, and he just dismissed and told me, "If she told you that, it wasn't true." But never confronted the mother and that continued, humiliating me in church picnic day, would slap me on the face because I would not have anything to do with his family. They are all dysfunctional, no one listens, nobody cares for anyone of them. But in the church, they look good. The father is a minister, a most obnoxious, self-righteous man that ever existed and the mother, the worst bully and liar there ever was. My pathetic husband, sees nothing, does nothing because he would not dishonor his parents. Christianity gone dysfunctional. Blames me all the time, if I say white, he says black. If I ask him to do anything, it feels like dragging a dead cow, I end up doing it myself because if I remind him, there will be altercation and it would be my fault, naturally. After 36 years of Christian marriage, I am considering leaving, the marriage and the corporate good for nothing church - teaching if there is no adultery, there should not be a divorce. What happens to the breaking of God's law which is the definition of sin. Not loving, not cleaving, not protecting and abusing one's spouse is breaking God's law in marriage. God is angry at people oppressing other people, and it id okay if it is the family being oppressed?

    My husband threatened to hit me with a clenched fist, the last row we had. It is escalating. Had enough. Never knew loving hurt this much..

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  12. My husband works TOO much! He makes good enough money but acts like its never enough. Anything is never enough, unfortunatly!
    This past week he's been working SO much we don't have conversation. Then Friday rolls around, and while I wait for th kids to jump ino bed I ask my husband what he's doing. Complete ignorance/NO responce.
    Then later I crawled into bed and he was on his phone. To strike up some sort of conversation I ask him what he's doing. Again, complete ignorance/NO responce.
    What the hell!? What does he expect me to do? Sit here and be lonely ALL week (doesn't get home till ten and passes out instantly) long thenCOMPLETELY ignore me when I try to seem interested in what he's doing (really just trying to get some sort of attwntion) by asking, "what are you doing?" I honstly could give a rats ass about what he is doing on his phone...I'm seeking some sort of attention, DUH!!!
    I'm sorry, but I'm needing a man to hold and treat me RIGHT! To seem interested in me or just a simple conversation with me like I do for him. Yes, I completely listen when he complains about work, I completely listen to him when he complains about life...HE'S NEVER satisfied or truely thankful for the things he does have! Everything is taken for granted!!!
    Anyway, when I know I'm a good looking girl, a great mother, thankful no matter what little I have,etc., I know I deserve just a little respect, attention, and most of all appretiation!
    He has never liked it when I accidently ignore him! But yet, he can ignore me on purpose!? I don't think so!
    That's when I am about to say, "Bitch, you'd better recognize!"
    Then, that's when he's about to loose me because...I deserve a strong man then that that appretiates his wife!
    To top it off, he makes fun of me when I ignore him back. NOTE: he gets PISSED if I ignore ANYTHING that comes out of that big mouth of his, until now! He won't put up with being ignored for long! Yes, he is frusterated at work, but DOES NOT make it so I deserve to be treated like I am nothing but that person that is put on his back burner.
    Fuck this! It has been over TEN years of this bull shit! "I" have waisted my life on trusting him and waiting on him and being his personal maid! Have fun trying to find a girl who will put up with you! Well, all ya gota do is find that one who is insecure so you can easily manipulate her.
    Good luck ya self absorbed person!!!!

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  13. I was in that position of begging God to take my life because after years of being married to a mama's boy and a passive aggressive personality, I was so depressed and so overwhelmingly confused and so unhappy (was happy when I was single), I had breast cancer, instead. I have survived and learned to take care of myself. But after 7 years, my husband is pushing me to be depressed again. I thought he would be a little bit kinder but no, he is even getting worse, accusing me of being covetous (I don't even cost him a haircut), and greedy for following his specific instructions. The worst is threatening to punch me on the face. Almost four decades of marriage to a "Christian" and being abused all this time. I can only feel contempt for him, for being a lie, for pretending good and for being an angry, petulant and vindictive child in a man's body. He is a fraud and never understood what marriage is about orr what Christianity is all about.

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  14. Its New Years Eve. I spent it crying to midnight last and I'm doing it again now. I sometimes wish death upon me because I'd rather do without the pain
    . We have two beautiful boys that God blessed me with. He's a good husband, I'm the selfish one that wants attention
    juz like when we were dating. When I'd get a text during the day just to say I'm beautiful,or a call to say hi and bye. A smile or a thank you. I know I shouldn't stonewall but one word to describe right now is EMPTY. Happy 2014

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  15. amazing ..so much so that I really believe its the #1 problem in marriage that initiates many of the other problems we are plagued with in marriage ..I have had the almost marriage ..But First off ..know all you women out there if you had been born "MORE" beautiful it doesn't make a difference..we sometimes tell our selves that ..BUT NOT SO. Married 41 years ..I have been blessed to look 20 years younger honestly always have been the girl who could do anything..I set my mind to ..raised four children can keep a beautiful home ..I am a Christian and keep up with world events ..OH well still doesn't help ..Great where cupid matters ..still NOPE . Ours have been the absolute best romance many times but from the start but Now still nope ..great great man and husband but the dogs get all the attention hah hah ! BUT true ! I have felt those feelings of total rejection many times felt like I didn't want to live .I felt so un - needed .. even with all I have to give ..I have felt he was the one .. or no one .. Unrealistic ? maybe BUT I cant settle for less. I will probably die feeling these feeling unless he changes ( little hope for that ). So very sad ..because I know when he is what he should be I open up to him and love life to the fullest.I shower him with attention and meet his needs cooking nurturing etc,,I have done this when he hasn't been what I wanted in attention and it really doesn't help so I try and do my best even when he doesn't .I feel like I am still going to try and be what I am the woman I am .. He is the real loser..BUT its still sad to me .Christ in my life is all that's kept me going .

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  16. Bleeding bit by bit...

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  17. The worst thing to hapen to a women is to be emotionaly and sexually ignored by a husband.my husband is hypertensive and hot tempered passively agressive man he stopped having sex with me and refuse that we sleep on same be for the past one year.he said I overreacted when I got to know that he had an affair with his distance cousin which resulted to a baby boy but when I insisted a DNA the result was negative now he keep to him self and spend more time working,he shows love to his children but no love and affection for me he says he has no more passion in him for me.I suspect he has impotency challenge but he did not say.he said when I am angry who ever makes me angry gets punnished by my according to him evil guardian spirit .I am really sad but I try to contain I donot no how long I can take this from him ,he will show some friendship when he need me to help him for some things after I help he will return to his ways l want to keep my marriage my children love me much,but am so lonely and sad I don't want to die .

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  18. I'm in this situation as well and have been for a while now. I've tried talking to my husband and even tried sjowing him more affection hoping that would make me more desirable, but nothing has worked. Our martiage has been stressed since the very beginning but instead of him seeing how I stood by him and worked hard to build our marriage he treats me as if I am the enemy. I feel hated not loved. No one deserves to feel this lonely.

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  19. I am a husband out of love and now unattracted to my wife. We were so good in the beginning. I cry most days. Just know it can be hard for the man too. We don't know what to do or say any better than you do.

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  20. Im 34 and I have been married for almost 12 years. My husband is faithful, hardworking, handsome, and can be fun at times. But then there are the times when he gets angry :( he can stay mad for hours or days :( stonewalling and blaming me for everything that goes wrong. :( I write this as he is in our bedroom stonewalling because we couldnt afford to go to a picnic and hang with friends. I dont know how much more of this I can endure :( what do I do when my best friend and husband treats me like my feelings and hurt doesn't matter?:(

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  21. So many women complaining they don't have intimacy and feeling of desired...well is there anything you have done to push your men away? Men just don't ignore and stop caring, they need a reason...seems like an awful lot of victim playing and blame the man.

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  22. My husband is the original creator of the man cave, because he has ignored me for 47 years. He has lived all these years in the basement and recently moved out to his new garage with a apartment loft. I don't think he hates me, but
    I do know he hates sex, intimacy, any kind of love or togetherness. I didn't realize this when first married, we did hold hands and kiss occassionally and that's about it. I would have choose not getting married. He is a strict loaner, stays cooped up in his garage goes no where, has no friends. I've even had private investigators follow him and was told he is the most boring person that they have ever followed. I wasted my money on him !

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  23. I'm so glad to have found this post. There are so many women who have it MUCH worse than I do, yet here I am, lonely because my husband ignores and rejects me. I'm not perfect, I know I have tried to be a good wife and person. We can't have a normal conversation,(because he literally ignores me) I've done everything I can think of to have a date night (which he won't do), and I've tried numerous times to make the first move in the bedroom only to be rejected. He's an amazing dad and I know that he loves me, he just doesn't seem to like me very much and it hurts my soul.

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  24. I have been married almost 8yrs I feel the pain here. My husband has literally gone insane on medicine change. My husband treats his vehicle, tv, and other women better than me. I have seriously thought about a physical affair. I am so depressed that I cry all the time, get physically sick to my stomach, wake with headaches, go to bed with headaches, have headaches in between, achy all over (muscles), I feel ugly, I feel dejected/rejected, I feel lonely, I feel like death warmed over....I went searching on here on this subject. Find this. Although it will never truly change my marriage....I am still lost. I don't know how else to live like this. Everyone tells me go to doctor, get on happy pills! what good will that do!? The problem is still there! My husband will never acknowledge me.

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  25. I was in a miserable, abusive "Christian" marriage. He started verbally abusing me about a year into our marriage, then it got physical. Both were agonizing and I used to cry myself to sleep all the time. We even went to a few councilors and a few pastors before I got the help I truly needed. He broke his marriage vows by being hateful, hurtful, abusive. That is NOT LOVE, and you do NOT have to suffer! You are free to seek divorce if you are in a painful relationship. Believe me, an abusive, neglectful husband will not change, it only gets worse, and you only get more misery, neglect, and pain. Love yourself and get free!

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  26. I beem living in agony for 15 years now. husband avoids me and his daughter like we are contagious. He will go to amother room when we walk in. He purposely avoids doing anything we want to do. I have had talks with him on his days off, but he will gI've excuses as to why he stays in other rooms and doesn't speak to us, and if I refuse to except the lame excuses, he walks out and ignores me. I've told him that he hurts us and he will say no he isnt. He will only come around me if I'm in bed going to sleep. He treats me like a girl who picked up at a bar. He wants to get quick feels of my body and keep it moving and go into another room and ignore me. It is so disrespectful. when he is obligated to do some things such as yearly family things, he avoids us and ditches us on the trips. Weekends off, he spends drinking non stop for an entire day. He also refuses to wash up unless I argue with him, but he will wash up if he is going to meet his friends for drinks. He walks around in his undies all day, as if I'm not in the house. He only shows care and kindness to men and has stated hed rather hang out with his boys. I'm a very attractive woman, as most men say and not over weight and he is, yet he puts me down and say I'm not fine. He has trashed my stuff as a way of telling me that I'm going to accept how he treats me or he will break my stuff. he talks mean to me if I speak him about not spending time with me. He has been like this since we had our daughter. I believe he regrets having a family. He have stated that I am a burden to him. Though I have helped buy everything we own, even bought my own cars and ask him only for food and clothes when I need it. I'm currently disabled from severe migraines. I believe I may need to leave him now. He cares for no one but himself.

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  27. I have a personal matter into that , my wife starts to ignore me so I have ignored her back . Where this will go . I don't care because she don't care . Do I have to care about her feelings ? NO. Whatever will happens , I have completely lost my interest in her because she ignored me . It is completely her fault .

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  28. I thought my husband would never cheat too, but he did. My life is as the article describes. He withholds sex, affection and attention. After initiating and begging for sex for years......he goes and cheats on me!!! He says he wanted to see if he could get it up cause he was having problems in that area. Oh and did I mention that he has been using porn unbeknownst to me for most of our 24 year marriage? He had an online subscription to a porn site and when I went out of town, he went to strip clubs. He always frowns on those behaviours, but there he was...participating in them. I have remained faithful, yet he gets the girlfriend (blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs...seriously!).Supposedly he could not get it up for her and it only happened once. They did remain friends for over five years. He allowed himself to be her knight in shining armour,helping her with things around her house,her business, her car, her life...you get the picture. He even helped her friends and family. WOW! He kept his duties up regarding home and car maintenance , showed up for dinner and most family events. He spent his Fridays and days he said he was going golfing or fishing with her, as well as some evenings when he says he was going to dinner meetings with her. My marriage has hurt me so deeply. I understand wanting to die. We did go to a weekend retreat for marriages in crisis and attended the post sessions. Since that time, over 8 months ago, he refuses to do the work to make our marriage better and experience intimacy. And I don't mean sex...he won't even kiss me passionately even after I asked him to. He does not want to do that either. I am attractive,dress nicely, funny, cook dinner every night for him and our family, clean, work, and take care of our kids' needs; homework,projects, clubs, lessons, etc.I am a happy home maker and employee. I am however a very sad wife.

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  29. Totally discouraged and without hope. Single parent, major illness, marry when I'm 43 and have been miserable for most of my married life. No intimacy, no communication, no willingness to get help on his part. So much more I could say, but why bother?!!

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  30. when we talk he just tells me he is unsafe and justifies that is why he can't talk to me. i am ready to explode because i work alone all day and yes i am a quick talker but i have 20 days worth of words and i can only handle telling God so much without human response. let alone to the man who needs an orgasm every couple days...yet he doesn't seem to think my need to talk is equally important. i check out during sex, actually despise it lately because i am a piece of empty soul since he can barely ask me about my life. when we do talk it is all about him. UGHH! i have prayed repeatedly for God to take my life. often i have asked why He made me and why He brought me to this marriage. I am so lonely, it hurts. I have my best friend Jesus who always loves on me but then I leave my prayer closet and have to see his face again looking at an ipod. i hope God will help me learn how to love like He does. May God forgive me for wishing death when He gave me life. I know marriage is His plan and I must be missing the key to unconditional love and humility for only by pride is there contention. Please help me JEsus.

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  31. I got married at 15 years old to a 19 yr old handsome, romantic, loving man. We have been together 12 years and have 3 children. After we got married he got possessive, he doesn't let me have friends or talk to my family he doesn't talk to me either. He is a drunk he drinks a bottle of tequila a day and won't let my son join t ball or let me exercise. So I just chat online with other guys to keep myself feeling alive. I swear some days the sadness and loniness feels like it could kill me consuming my every moment. I need gods strength to carry on as if nothing bothers me.

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  32. Thank you for sharing. I have been hurting so long. I have told my husband time and time again. I am lonely and hurting amd vulnerable and confused. He is not outrightly mean, and he says nice things, but we have no relationship, physically or emotionally. I don't know what to do anymore.

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  33. I'm not sure if I'm at this point yet. I'm engaged and getting married in less than two months. My fiance is very sweet and an honest man but I feel like he ignores certain issues which I deem important. I lost my mom 4 months ago and he has never asked my how I took it or how I'm dealing with it. It's lilegitimate life just went on as normal for him .tHis morning I got mugged not my life was on danger and he got back home after work now was on his Facebook like nothing happened and went to bed like it was an ordinary day . This hurts me a lot as these are just examples of how when I'm emotionally hurt I'm disregarded like it's nothing and ill get over it. I don't know what to do as I fear things will only get worse once we married. I know he loves me but at times I doubt his ability to be sensitive. I fear that I will now allow someone else to be my knight in shining armour when he should be .

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  34. This article describes EXACTLY how I feel. I feel my life is being drained from me slowly and things would easier if I were gone. No, I am not suicidal. My husband spends more time online gaming than with me. He spends more time online with a female friend than with me. I'm denied intimacy because of his porn addiction. I am at the point I want out, but I still love him. Father God, calm my soul.

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