I recently read a Twitter remark by someone that was along the lines of marriage and men: What He Wish You Knew -- It really bothers him when you question him and argue all the time, talk don't confront!
I almost spit out the sip of coffee I’d just taken! This is one of the most childish and enabling comments I’ve ever read on the subject and the thing is, just a couple of years ago I would have adhered to it. Listen up guys and gals…this is not biblical! This is ego-lical!
Take a look at King Solomon’s interaction with the Queen of Sheba – the ultimate Q & A:
Now when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of
Solomon concerning the name of the Lord, she
came to test him with hard questions.
She came to Jerusalem with a very great
retinue, with camels that bore spices,
very much gold, and precious stones;
…and when she came to Solomon, she spoke
with him about all that was in her heart.
So Solomon answered all her questions;
there was nothing so difficult for the king that he
could not explain it to her.
How did the queen respond to Solomon in this? Not by arguing with him, I can tell you that! No….she responded with praise and gifts the like of which have never been seen since! And not because he “needed” it either ~ it was a genuinely organic response from her because he made her a priority, listened to her and patiently answered her questions. And then, Solomon gave gifts back to her:
“…all she desired, whatever she
asked, besides what Solomon had given
her according to the royal generosity.”
There’s a beautiful pattern here. A wife comes to her husband with questions. He listens to her heart and answers ALL of her questions. Now he’s earned his wife’s respect and she gives him everything.
In a nutshell: a real man earns his wife’s respect because he loves her so much. He becomes more like Christ every day. This is real living. This is real manhood. A woman cannot help but to admire and respect this man. No one has to tell her to.