4.27.2011

Kick Butt Smoothie...

It's been a while since I've put up a 'Wellness Wednesday' post. Not because I haven't been trying to eat better or eat raw but because I'm easily side tracked. Just ask my husband. He will agree in the most unconditionally loving way.

We both really liked this though. A tall glass of carrot-y, orange-y, pineapple-y yum.







Isn't she a beauty? No dairy and no added sweetener.

about 2 cups of fresh carrot juice
1/2 cup fresh orange juice
frozen chunks of banana, pineapple and mango (to your liking)

That's it. Bee pollen and flax oil would be good, healthy additions but I was fresh out. Oooo...coconut butter or fresh ginger, or raw macadamia nut butter or fresh papaya. Maybe some mint.

See what I mean?

4.25.2011

A Pattern Set Down...


Most of us can look back over our childhoods and pick out one defining moment ~ intentional or not ~ when we were wounded by our parents or a parental figure. An excuse instead of an apology, absence from an important event, the threat of abandonment, divorce, abuse...name your poison.

Mine was being sexually abused by my grandfather.

Michael's was watching his dad beat his mom.

Yours may not be as overt as ours. We recently spoke with a man whose eldest son is getting ready to graduate from college and, up until now, he wasn't going to go to the graduation. There are lots of reasons that all sound good but deepthat his dad hadn't ever shown up for him; and not just for his own graduation er discussion revealed either. He hadn't shown up for anything. Ever. He was there but not there.

In the same way of most of us, this man (husband, father) had relegated his own hurt to happenstance; a characteristic of his father that just was. Yet here he is repeating the history of a pattern set down by his own father; leaving his wife to make excuses, his son with an open wound and his two other children wondering if dad will show up for them.

Old man, look at my life. I'm a lot like you were...

The more we talk with people and the more we look at our own lives, Michael and I become more firmly entrenched in a belief that the enemy only trifles with us now. His most vicious and damaging work was done when we were children. It was easier for him then; no checks and balances necessary with innocence. no history for kids to compare to. only blind trust.

This is where the sins of the father (or mother) take root and get passed down.





Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.

Old man look at my life,
Twenty four
and there's so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me think of two.

Love lost, such a cost,
Give me things
that don't get lost.
Like a coin that won't get tossed
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life
I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that's true.

Lullabies, look in your eyes,
Run around the same old town.
Doesn't mean that much to me
To mean that much to you.

I've been first and last
Look at how the time goes past.
But I'm all alone at last.
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life
I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that's true.

Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.

4.10.2011

Words With God...

I think that many of us could look back over our lives thus far and find some reasons to not trust God and, probably, there's one really big reason somewhere in there. I know there is for me and it wasn't what I thought it was; at least, not exactly. It was deep though. Buried beneath so many years of guilt and shame and the whole 'honor thy father and mother' commandment that I dared not think it let alone speak it.

Just a few pages into a new book this evening (Women Food God) and a brief conversation with Michael and I was in tears...wailing...over a hurt that runs so deep I've done nothing but run from it since the day it was inflicted. I thought I'd dealt with it and to some extent that's true. Mostly though I've molded myself into someone I'm not sure that I was ever meant to be or, at the very least, someone that I had to be so that I could just...survive. You know how you can remember an event and there's what actually happened and what you believed happened? And Satan is such an exquisite liar that what you believe begins to make sense...to become your truth.

I just lay there crying in Michael's lap while I had words with God about it all. No holds barred words. I don't trust You words. You did leave me. You did forsake me. How could You have let this happen? Where were You? Is this seriously the good plan You had for me? You knew this would happen!!! Why didn't You stop it???

As a rule, this isn't the way I speak to God. I'm mostly gracious and careful, sometimes distracted, always polite. Tonight I didn't care. Tonight my heart was in my throat and I had to speak or choke on my own words. And I didn't get wrath or the cold shoulder or condemnation. I got...comfort. Not in words. I didn't want words. I didn't need words; I'd said enough of my own. It came in the touch of Michael's hand rubbing my back and smoothing the hair from my face. And with his touch the realization that God was using him to comfort me, to sooth me, to ease my pain and reassure me of His love for me. Insert deep wobbly breath here.

I know that there's still more to process and that there will still be more conversations and tears and ups and downs and while all that makes me feel unsteady on my feet, of these three things I'm absolutely sure: that resisting the pain hurts more than the pain itself, that I have an incredible husband who doesn't run away when I'm hurting and that God hears all of my words and He sees me.

He sees me.

4.05.2011

Exciting News...


It has long been the dream of Joel and Kathy Davisson to provide help to hurting marriages throughout the world. When we first found their ministry, there were their two books, one weekly ministry call, a monthly email and the Marriage Intensive in Palm Coast, FL as resources for couples to receive help and support in their marriage restoration. Four years later, there are now six weekly calls for couples, three weekly calls for husbands, two weekly calls for wives, Marriage Intensives in Palm Coast, FL and Anaheim, CA (the latter facilitated by us), MP3 downloads of the books, DVD's of an Intensive, bi-monthly newsletter from J&K, teaching videos on Youtube from J&K and us, our blog, and a 24/7 marriage forum. That's a lot of help!!!

And it just keeps growing. This Thursday, April 7 (at 9am, 6pm and 10pm PST), Joel and Kathy will be appearing on the Daystar Network show Celebration, hosted by Marcus & Joni Lamb. All of us are super excited about this opportunity that God has given to J&K to spread the message of this ministry to an even larger audience so we encourage you to check your local cable listing or go to the site and stream the show live from your computer. Also, you can call in to the ministry line (512.716.6531 access code 981128#) during those times to ask questions of the facilitators and learn more about this ministry.

We're SO excited at the possibility of even more marriages getting RESTORED!!!