A Great Apology!

One of the things we do at our Marriage Intensives is show the movie Fireproof and even though we've seen it several times now, we never fail to feel the impact of it's message for our own marriage and the marriages of the couples who watch it with us.

Seriously, all of us are in tears (even the guys) at some point throughout the movie but never more so as when Caleb makes his apology to his wife, Catherine. I love how he tells her that he's on day 43 when there are only 40 days in the book, "who says I have to stop?"

Here's the thing, the scripture doesn't say, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her for 40 days; or 3 months; or a year-and-a-half." It says, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her." Period. End of discussion. No time limit. It's forever.

When a husband realizes this ~ the truth of the scripture ~ and begins to live this out with his wife, similar to how Caleb begins to live with and for Catherine, his wife's heart will begin to open up towards him.

Welcome to the new normal!

Blessing to you!


Who's Hungry?

I was recently reading a post over at The Generous Wife ~ a terrific blog and a companion to The Generous Husband ~ in which the author, Lori, speaks of men being sexually hungry in a marriage and women being emotionally hungry. She says, "You have opposing hungers and both spouses are finding it hard to give out of their emptiness."

This was an interesting post and the many comments it received and, as a wife, made me wonder....weren't our husbands meeting our emotional needs before we married them? Isn't this one of the reasons we said 'yes' when they proposed, this kind of sweet pursuit? Ladies, let's just all acknowledge right now that this was a big sexual turn on for us. And if we were sexually active with them before we married them, did we give them sex first without there being an emotional draw/connection? I don't think so.

So why do we settle for the absence of being emotionally pursued after the vows are said and take on the role of sexual initiator so that our hearts will be cherished in return? In my opinion, this is like Cinderella placing the glass slipper on Prince Charming. Totally backwards. Ick!

Now, I'm not saying that a wife should never initiate sex with her husband, not at all. I'm saying that she shouldn't feel that she has to in order to get what she needs. God calls a husband to go first in the marriage by loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her. This is unconditional love. This is a husband dying to himself in order for his bride to live and to be cherished and nurtured (holy and without blemish, spot or wrinkle). This is what enables her to be giving in her sexuality toward her husband.

If he did it while dating, there's no excuse for him not to do it in marriage.

I'm just sayin'.


No Arms, No Legs....No Worries

A lot of my friends put videos up on their facebook posts and, I'll admit, I don't look at all of them. But this morning, I noticed that my cousin had posted one and, for whatever reason, I decided to watch it. WOW! I'm sooooo glad that I did! With tears in my eyes, I called Michael over to watch it and with tears in his eyes, we decided this would be the Testimony Tuesday video we'd share with all of you today. It's hugely powerful and tugs at your heart in a way you can feel!

Ladies....you're soooo beautiful just the way you are!!!!

and Guys...You Da Man!!!!

We love you! Be blessed and remember to join us tonight at 7pm (pst) for our weekly marriage ministry call (dial-in information is in the sidebar to the right)!

I'd like to say that if we can do it...you can do it too. But today I want to say that if this guy can do what he does every single day...Then We All Can Do It Too!!!


Where Are You Today?

When I was washing my hair this afternoon, the question of "Where Are You Today?" popped into my head. I began to apply this question to my own life and realized that I'm actually in a good, balanced place and one of discovery as well. See, I'm a week and a half into a program to overcome anxiety and panic attacks, something that I've been dealing with for over 20 years, and I'm already noticing a huge difference in my life (feeling a new blog coming on). I'm learning to stay out of the past, (anger and guilt), to keep out of the future (fear and anxiety) and to live in the precious, present moment.

I'm also enjoying Michael and and my boys in a very different way; one that's calmer and more relaxed and has me being more aware of my thankfulness to God for all that He's blessed me (and us) with. I'm feeling ..... brighter somehow (if that makes any sense).

So, where are you today?


Is Your Marriage A Tango? or Tango x Two

The popular phrase, "It takes two to tango," is one that's familiar to most of us. Literally, something said when two people involved in a bad situation are equally responsible. The old adage of 50/50 in a relationship or situation.

Have you ever seen a couple dance the tango? Have you ever danced a tango with someone? I've only seen it danced but it was one of the most beautiful, erotic, romantic things I've ever seen. How I'd love to learn the dance with Michael.....sigh....I digress. Sorry.

Anyway, I bring up the tango because my experience of it wasn't a 50/50 kind of thing. It was a man leading and protecting his woman, making her feel and look beautiful and very womanly. It was his strength enhancing her delicacy. It was her femininity enhancing his masculinity. It was something that they had to do together or fail spectacularly in the language of the dance; silent words that spoke of love and life and sex; vulnerability and support; breathtaking drops and reassuring closeness...equally responsible for the fullness of the relationship.


The Perfect Proverbs 31 Woman

Many women have heard of the Proverbs 31 Woman. If you're a Christian woman, you've probably read books about her, studied her, participated in a woman's ministry about her or gone to a retreat where she's been the headliner.

Today, I talk about this paragon of virtue and why I believe she is who she is and does what she does.

I'll give you a hint (guys)....she wasn't born that way.

Join us tonight at 7pm (pst) for our weekly marriage ministry call. 512.716.6531 to call in and the access code is 981128#.

Las Vegas Kiss

Last month, Michael and I went to his sister's wedding in Vegas. She caught us in a kiss and snapped a pic. It was a super fun day...so glad I'm not a blond anymore (no offense if you are, it's just not my color. What can I say...I was born a brunette)!

Hey, don't forget about our weekly marriage ministry call tonight. We start at 7pm (pst) and would be blessed to have you on! 512.716.6531 access code is 981128#


God's Big Orange Chair

It being Mother's Day and all, today at church our pastor shared a story of how, when he was a small boy, his mother would take him in her arms and sit with him in the big orange chair in her bedroom and comfort him with a song (Mocking Bird) whenever he was hurt or sad. This memory holds much fondness for him which was evident in his telling of this memory.

I'm sure that today was a source of much joy for many women; perhaps it was their very first Mother's Day or they're blessed with children who took the time to honor them and make the day special for them. I know there are women for whom this day was filled with heartbreak and sadness because although they desperately want children, they have none yet and perhaps never will have a child of their own body or they've lost a child to death or drugs or alcohol. Maybe you're reading this and today was difficult for you because you never had a mother who held you or loved on you or was there for you like you needed her to be. Perhaps you're a wife celebrating your first Mother's Day without your husband because the two of you are separated or going through a divorce. A very dear friend of ours is currently in this boat and it's heartbreaking.

Our pastor pointed out that no matter what your story is, God can reorient it. He has His own big orange chair...the best, most comfortable big orange chair and He longs to bring you onto His lap and comfort you with a word or a song or a touch. I urge you to accept the reality of His provision for you.

You are so very loved!


Our Story

Joel and Kathy Davisson, the creators of God Save My Marriage, recently asked for our testimony and we realized that we actually hadn't really written about it here or made a video of it; it's been more piecemealed out than anything so we thought we'd get a bit more specific today for Testimony Tuesday (and because we're sending them a copy, it looks a bit different than you may be used to).

Actually, this was a perfect time to do it having just finished up an Intensive because when we do one, Michael and I are always reminded of where we were and where we are now and all that's gone on in the process.

Remember to call in to our weekly marriage ministry call tonight at 7pm (pst) to get some help for your marriage and if you're thinking of coming to a Marriage Victory Intensive, we're holding the next one July 15~18 in Anaheim, CA. We'd love to welcome you there and help you and your spouse get on the road to an Outrageously Happy Marriage!

If we can do it....You Can Do It Too!


Taking God's Word With You

With all of the craziness going on in our lives these days ~ especially in our marriages ~ spending time in the Word is so very important and desperately needed. Unfortunately, it's still a challenge for many of us.

That said, I was really excited to learn about a newly launched bible study app--Wave Study Bible®--for the iPhone and iPod Touch. It's an app built for the average person and makes it simple to integrate God's Word into your daily life. It comes with four free Bible versions (Greek New Testament, King James Version, New English Translation, God's Word Translation). Using the in-application store you can add any of the standard translations (NASB, NKJV, NIV, NIrV, Message, ESV [coming], NLT [coming]).

Anyway, we don't have an iPhone or an iPod touch but we watched the video about it and it looks pretty cool. You might want to check it out which you can do right here.

If you get it, we'd love to know what you think about it.