The Key To Making Marriage Simple

Each one of us comes into marriage with specific (and often unrealistic) ideas of what we think it should be. These ideas have been influenced by our own upbringing, our parent’s marriage, the media, movies, our hopes & dreams or, sadly, born out of abuse. When those ideas become intertwined with your spouse’s who brings the same, simplicity can become non-existent.

For hundreds of years, husbands have been expecting their wives to melt before them simply by lifting the proverbial boom box with Peter Gabriel blaring from the speakers crooning about the light and heat he sees in her eyes. While it appears to have worked in the movie, in a real life marriage, most wives are left emaciated from the crumbs their husbands have been throwing them throughout the years. When this happens, problems in the marriage that could have been avoided begin to creep in and tear down the dreams of both involved; now there’s tension, anger, boredom, frustration…the list can go on.

In contrast, a husband who purposes to love, honor and cherish his wife in the ways she needs every day, who creates safety in the marriage and listens to his wife’s heart; earns her respect and she gives him everything – her heart, her mind, her body…her everything! A simple pattern for a breathtaking marriage is set in motion as the husband and wife are now giving and receiving.

You may have noticed that we’ve been putting the responsibility on the husband quite a bit here and you’d be right ~ we are. God calls a husband to go first, to be an initiator of unconditional love towards his wife; and, even if you’re not a believer, you’ll at least have heard that God created Adam first and gave him Eve to care for and pronounced it “good”.

The marriage ministry we’re involved in offers a simple and straightforward message: a man will become the husband that his wife needs him to be when he becomes the man that God called him to be. Over the last two years, Michael and I have found this to be true as we’ve walked through the process of restoring our own marriage.

I like to think that God is a god of simplicity and I don’t believe that He ever intended for things to get so complicated ~ especially in marriage which is the closest relationship we have on earth to our relationship with God.


  1. Isn't it funny (sad funny, not ha-ha funny) all the ways we have created to complicate all of the things that God designed in His perfect simplicity? Life would be so much easier if we followed the plan and trusted Him to do what He says He will do.


  2. I wish my husband would wake up and stop pushing me aside to make up lost time with his 18 year old daughter. She is a manipulator, lier and sneak. I am counseling and he only went once and said he is not going agian there is more to the story but to make it short. If he goes to Massachusetts without me knowing his x gf is trying to get him back and he is to see his daughter but also to see her. Then I will leave when he is gone.