Today, not so much about marriage, more…reflection and an acknowledging of the heartache that is a part of life.
I’ve recently spoken with two friends of mine who have each lost a child within the last few years, both quite suddenly and at different ages. I lost my first husband almost eight years ago. I can’t even imagine losing a child and I never would have imagined losing my husband yet this loss has become part of our story, a part of who we are and how we look at life now; how we get up each morning and put one foot on the floor, then the other, tuck our sorrow into a corner of our heart and manage to get through the day. Some days are easier than others.
I think that as a wife and a mother, we don’t always allow ourselves the luxury and release that mourning can bring. There’s always too much to do; others to take care of, groceries to by, love to make, laundry to fold….you get the picture; it's inconvenient. I also know that the more I don’t give in to the sorrow that still comes up from time to time the more I become just a bit more hardened; less inclined to presence myself with those around me who are still here.
It’s a vicious circle really and one that, for me anyway, keeps me just under the radar of really living and enjoying all of the blessings that God has given me…even the blessing of loss.
Like I said, some days are easier than others.