November is always a difficult month for me. My first husband had his last family gathering on the 22nd (which happened to be Thanksgiving Day in 2001 and he was quite ill), my birthday is on the 24th and the anniversary of his death is the 28th. And even though its been almost eight years since he passed away, all of those dates kind of converge upon one another and that week can still take my breath away.
We never now why God allows trials in our lives except that His word says:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11
Chances are that we'll never know this side of heaven why sad and tragic events take place in our lives and yet....Do you remember the movie Dances With Wolves? One of my favorite scenes is when the character Wind In His Hair is helping Dances With Wolves get ready to marry Stands With A Fist. Here's what Wind In His Hair says:
You know, the man she mourned for...he was my best friend.
He was a good man.
It has been hard for me to like you. I am not the thinker Kicking Bird is. I always feel anger first.
There were no answers to my questions. But now I think he went away
because you were coming.
That is how I see it.
If Jeffrey and I were still married, I know that we wouldn't be involved in marriage ministry the way Michael and I are; it's not what we were about. If he hadn't passed away I suspect our lives would have continued on much as they did when we were married; in love yet oblivious to so many things. This is a sad truth that I think of often.
I believe that God allowed the difficulties in my and Michael's relationship to break our hearts and draw us near to Him. I think God took Jeffrey away because He knew that Michael and I would further His Kingdom through helping other marriages. I think He took Jeffrey away because He wanted Michael and I here for such a time as this.
That is how I see it.
So, I leave you with this video of one of my favorite songs by Nichole Nordeman. It really doesn't tie in to what I wrote about though it is a recognition of how God is always with us in every situation and that our circumstances don't determine His sovereignty.