Do Or Do Not ~ There Is No Try...

Now that I've gotten the attention of any Star Wars fans who may read our blog, you may know that Jesus says something similar (sans Yoda speak) in Revelation when He's addressing one of the seven churches:

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot.
I wish you were either one or the other! So, because
you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about
to spit you out of my mouth. Rev. 3:15-16

We often tell husbands to make a decision to either do this or not, that is, become a Christlike husband and be with his wife the way God calls him to, because if he's just half in, or just trying, or only lukewarm, he might as well forget it. The worst thing he can do is just enough to get by...just enough to get his wife feeling somewhat safe again...just enough to get back into the house (and into her bed)...and then...

stop.

I really do mean this. It's the absolute worst.

So, husband, if you know you're not going to love your wife unconditionally (for the rest of your life) or lay your life down for her (for the rest of your life) or live with her in understanding (for the rest of your life) or make her your number one priority (for the rest of your life) then have the balls to tell her because lukewarm just doesn't cut it. It's not worth it for you or her. Nor your kids for that matter. Or your family or your church family or your job or the world.

I'm just sayin'.

Coffee should be drunk while it's hot; iced tea while it's cold. Get the picture?

Venus At A Mirror...

If you're one of my Facebook friends you may have read my recent little update where I lamented the thickness of my waistline and my difficulty in finding something to wear:

"so i was out clothes shopping today and ended up completely frustrated and empty-handed. everything i tried on looked awful and every look in the mirror was just a reminder of how much i need to lose weight. i was going to get myself a pair of spanks but the line was too long and i didn't feel like waiting. ugh...."

A girlfriend that I went to high school with left the following comment: "Spring is coming. We are programmed to store extra weight to survive the winter. We survived. We just need to walk around a bit when it gets warmer. when I feel icky, I look at paintings by Rubens or Titian. You are so gorgeous, be healthy, but don't let the skinny trend of this century get you down."

So I went on a search which turned up the following image breathed a sigh of relief...

Venus At A Mirror
Sir Peter Paul Rubens
17th century Flemish painter
proponent of an extravagant Baroque style that
emphasized movement, color and sensuality.

movement...color....sensuality....(and full figured women) emphasized...

On the complete flip side is one of the newest reality shows called Bridalplasty where brides-to-be compete in challenges to earn plastic-surgery procedures in a quest to win their ultimate dream wedding.

What?!?

cutting....tucking....smoothing....nipping....enhancing....shrinking....

I'm sure that I don't need to tell you how lovely all of the participants were having no need for any kind of surgical procedure to enhance their beauty. It made me sad to think that somewhere in their life they came to believe ~ either by themselves or others ~ that how they looked wasn't good enough.

I tell myself the same thing. I don't know why. I have the body of venus at a mirror and want to be at least 40 pounds lighter. I have a husband who tells me every day that I'm gorgeous and sexy and beautiful; he tells me how attracted he is to me and shows me with his body almost every night. I know I'm blessed in this. Still, those thoughts creep in and wait...did you read what I just wrote?

"I have the body of Venus"

I have the body of Venus!

well....what d'ya know?

A Speaking Engagement...

Great News!!! Michael and I will be speaking next month at the Port Orchard Church of Christ in Port Orchard Washington. If you live in the area, or not too far away, we'd love to meet you and have you attend.

Friday evening February 11th @ 6:30pm
A fun casual dinner of bbq chicken & ribs
All day Saturday Seminar, February 12th
9:00 am - 5:00 pm (bring a sack lunch)
$35 per couple; singles also welcome

child care will be provided on both days!

Call or email the church office to register
360.876.2604 church@pococ.org

The Strongest Men In The World...

In a recent series of clicking this link which leads to this link which leads to yet another....I came across the following blog post and felt compelled to re-post here as it's completely in concordance with what Michael and I try to convey to Christian husbands (well, really, to all husbands). It comes to us from the website of Ron Hutchcraft Ministries; definitely worth a look-see.

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Colossians 3:19. Listen to what God says here: "Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them." This really brings love for your wife out of the clouds. You say, "Oh, yes, I love my wife." Do not be harsh with her then. That's a very practical way to measure how much you love her. Are you harsh with her?

God expands our orders as men in our treatment of women by saying this, "Husbands be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner so that nothing will hinder your prayers." That's 1 Peter 3. It goes beyond even marriage in 1 Timothy 5:2. It says, "Tell the younger men to treat the younger women as sisters with absolute purity." In each case, God talks about showing your love by treating that woman like a sister; protecting a woman from anything that could hurt her - including you.

Unfortunately some of us have grown up with a twisted view of what makes a man a man. We have to win, so we have to cut her down so we can win. We have to be strong, so we stand on her to prove we are. We can't be wrong, so we make sure we level her. We can't show tender feelings, so we treat her with macho toughness and we keep her at a distance. But none of that is real manhood! It's insecurity. It's lack of self-control. It's insensitivity.

Even society has known the real secret of male greatness for years. They talk about being a gentleman, a gentle-man! Like the ultimate man, Jesus Christ. For example, when an entire crowd of men was ready to stone a guilty woman, Jesus alone treated her with compassion and gentleness. Another woman was cut down by Jesus' friends for a choice she made about her most expensive possession. Again, Jesus protected her honor. So the measure of your manhood is how safe the women around you feel, how listened to they feel, how protected they feel - physically and emotionally, how respected they feel by you.

For some of us this kind of tenderness just does not come naturally, but it can come supernaturally as you let Jesus Christ convict you of your sins of harshness; the words, the actions that have hurt a woman you care about. And then you begin to let Jesus plant His gentle strength in your heart to replace all those twisted ideas of what it means to be a man. The chainsaw in your mouth that has inflicted so many wounds on a woman you love; it's time you unplug that. Enough damage has been done. A real man does not wound a woman. Love her and do not treat her harshly.

The love of a brother for a sister, especially a spiritual sister, is not just some official emotion, "I love you." Real love, real manhood says, "No one is going to hurt this woman! Especially me."

Eat Pray Love Musings, Part 1...

For your consideration....

"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted - an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of an junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore - despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, g-damn it, because he used to give it to your for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have that thing even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination - the complete and merciless devaluation of self." Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert

I took my mom to see this movie when it came out. It actually opened on her birthday so it worked out well with the whole lunch and a movie thing I had planned for her and while the above quote wasn't in the movie (it's from the book, which I'm currently reading), I remember being moved by alot of what took place in it because it paralleled many of my own experiences; especially the part where she dances with her first husband. OMG....copious tears but I'll save that for another time.

When I read this, though, it really hit me between the eyes. Talk about living out of emotional arrestedness which is exactly what I did when Michael and I were dating, and reading this took me back there completely...I mean I could feel those feelings; thick and tight....like wearing old, caked-on mud.

Why did I allow myself to act that way? Why did I say yes ~ with welcoming arms (and body) ~ to someone who completely disregarded my heart except when it was convenient for him?

Michael says that in relationships, most of us (Christian or not) don't believe that we can be anything different than what we are and so we look to the other person, just as ill equipped, to make us different and fill any lack. And before you remind me that God is meant to fill the lack (because He'll never disappoint and so on and so forth), the reality is that most of us are running around with big open wounds and, at the risk of ending up like the junkie mentioned above, we'll glom onto to the first person who offers even the smallest and quickest fix our empty hearts can get.

You know what I'm talking about.