I've often been asked by co-workers, friends and family (namely, Michael) if I'm angry when I'm not angry in the slightest. When I respond with, "Not at all, why do you ask?" I'm told that I look angry and so it's assumed that I am.
I haven't given much thought to this except that usually when I'm asked this it's when I'm busy and am concentrating on whatever it is I'm doing. I guess I get into a kind of zone which shows up as a scowl on my face. And, I've observed over the years, my mom does the same thing and it's something that I find somewhat annoying and the fact that I'm showing up in a similar way is disconcerting, to say the least.
I seriously have no idea why I do this. Apparently, I was doing it last night because Michael brought it to my attention when he asked if I was angry with him. Now, let me just say that I have a cold and I'm pms-ing which ~ ladies, I'm sure you'll agree ~ may constitute a scowl now and then. Nevertheless, wanting to genuinely be about Michael and hear what he had to say (without getting defensive or explaining myself) I asked him to be more specific.
Three years of him listening to my heart hasn't made it much easier for me to not "feel" defensive or the need to explain myself and I know this is my issue as I have a choice not to feel that way. Yet, there it was...rearing it's ugly head. I didn't get crazy or storm off. I did receive what he was saying and took it to heart. He's been blessing me so much and I want him to be happy and blessed with me as well.
Not scowling doesn't mean that I have to wear a plastic smile on my face all the time and change my name to Susie Cream Cheese. It's just an awareness to have a pleasant and welcoming countenance when I'm with people; especially people whom I love and who love me in return. Part of dying to self and being about another even when I don't feel well or am wrapped up in a project.
In a nutshell: More of you Lord...less of me.
Michael and I sure hope you'll join us tonight on our couples marriage ministry call. It's super easy to participate ~ just dial 512-716-6531 access code is 981128# We begin at 7pm (pst) and go anywhere from 3-5 hours depending on how much help people need. If you'd prefer to just listen in and not speak that's fine, just be sure to mute out your phone to eliminate any background noise.
If you're considering coming to one of our Marriage Victory Intensives, just give us a call at 562-438-7248. Our next one will be held in Anaheim, CA February 18-21, 2010. Space is limited to six couples so be sure to get registered soon.
Remember, if Michael and Annalea can do....You Can Do It To!