For Better Or For Worse

I’m not really sure where our marriage problems started. Well, that’s not entirely true…I do know. They started before we even got married. Even though we were both Christians and desirous of a Christian marriage, both of us were wounded people and wounded people seem to gravitate towards other wounded people.

Actually, I thought marriage would make us better (I can hear you wincing through the computer). Surely when I married him he would know that I was totally committed to the relationship. Surely he would finally believe that I’d never cheated on him. Surely, when he saw how much money I was spending to give us a beautiful wedding, he would know that I really loved him.

Okay…who was I kidding? Well, if you have a lick of sense – which I’m sure you do – you already know the answer to that question. Suffice it to say, I didn’t have a very healthy respect for myself and I was afraid of being alone. Not good reasons to get married and yet I know I’m not the only woman to have done this. This is also part of my own arrested development which I’ll address in another post.

But you know it’s really sad when we take God’s perfect creation and distort it with what we believe about ourselves instead of embracing it with what He believes about us. And when our husband isn’t a safe place for our heart to rest in, those distortions become increasingly easier to believe even though we want to save our marriage.